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8 Trik Hindari Bertengkar Mulut Dengan Pasangan

Cinta memang rumit untuk dipahami. Terkadang masalah sepele dapat menjadi sumber pertengkaran Anda dan pasangan. 

Walaupun pertengkaran termasuk bumbu cinta, namun jangan biarkan kebiasaan ini berlarut-larut. Agar pertengkaran tidak memaksa Anda mengakhiri hubungan dengan pasangan, berikut sembilan cara yang bisa Anda terapkan, seperti dikutip laman Yahoo! Shine:

1. Posisikan diri Anda terlebih dahulu
Orang yang menghabiskan waktu memperbaiki diri mereka sendiri akan lebih bahagia dibandingkan mereka yang menempatkan kebutuhan pasangan mereka terlebih dahulu. "Ketika Anda mengembangkan keinginan Anda, Anda memiliki kelebihan untuk mengajarkan orang lain," ujar Gary Lewandowski Jr., Ph.D., dari Universitas Monmouth, New Jersey.

Dengan berusaha memperbaiki diri sendiri, pasangan akan melihat usaha Anda dalam memperbaiki hubungan kalian. Pasangan juga bisa belajar lebih menghargai Anda dan melihat pada kesalahannya.

2. Tidurlah ketika marah
Penelitian yang dilakukan oleh Universitas California menemukan bahwa orang seringkali menyelesaikan masalah selama mengalami Rapid Eye Movement (REM). "Ketika tidur, otak menyusun kenangan, menggabungkan kenangan lama dan ide-ide baru untuk mendatangkan solusi," ujar penulis studi, Sara Mednick, Ph.D.

3. Hormati privasi hubungan Anda
Ketika Anda bertengkar dengan pasangan Anda, apakah Anda curhat online? Jika Anda melakukan publikasi online pada Facebook, misalnya, maka orang lain yang membacanya pun akan ikut gelisah terhadap hubungan Anda, dan akan menanyakan hal tersebut kepada Anda. Hal tersebut justru membuat Anda tertekan. Pasangan pun akan merasa tidak nyaman dengan hal tersebut.

4. Hindari teman yang memberikan pengaruh negatif
Penelitian yang dilakukan Universitas Brown menemukan kecenderungan perpisahan pada pasangan dipengaruhi oleh perpisahan yang dilakukan sahabat. Hubungan Anda juga dapat dipengaruhi perpisahan yang dilakukan oleh teman kerja Anda sebanyak 33%.

5. Pisahkan waktu bekerja dan santai
"Jika Anda selalu bekerja dan tidak ada pembagian antara kantor dan rumah, maka Anda kan menemukan tekanan dalam hubungan," ujar Dr. Scott Haltzman, penulis 'The Secrets of Happily Married Women'. Tetapkan batas waktu bekerja, lalu gunakan sisa waktu untuk bersantai bersama
sebelum tidur.

6. Pekerjakan pembantu rumah tangga
Tidak dapat dipungkiri dalam kehidupan pernikahan, seorang istri pasti akan selalu disibukkan dengan kegiatan bersih-bersih dalam rumah. Sedangkan seorang suami biasanya hanya berperan sedikit dalam aktivitas tersebut. Jika kegiatan ini menjadi sumber masalah baru, sudah saat Anda memperkerjakan pembantu rumah tangga. Anda dan pasangan pun dapat menikmati waktu bersama dengan hal yang menyenangkan.

7. Menyusun rencana pengeluaran bersama
Pasangan berpisah bukan karena tidak memiliki uang, tapi karena mereka tidak sepakat dengan cara mengatur keuangan. "Diskusikan keuangan kalian setiap bulan adalah hal yang sangat penting," ujar penasihat keuangan Manisha Thakor. Mengatur keuangan bersama akan membangun kesamaan pikiran Anda berdua untuk jangka panjang.

8. Seks singkat
Seks singkat mungkin tampak tidak romantis, tapi ledakan singkat gairah yang Anda dan pasangan rasakan akan membuat Anda berdua semakin terikat. Hal ini dikarenakan lepasnya hormon dopamin dan oksitoksin.