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Tips Belajar Menerima Ketidaksempurnaan Pasangan


Stres akibat, tekanan dalam pekerjaan atau masalah keluarga kerap membuat Anda menjadi gampang marah dan mudah emosi. Dan perilaku seperti itu sering menjadi penyebab timbulnya pertengkaran dengan pasangan. Solusinya, belajarlah untuk meredam genderang perang dengan memahami siapa dan bagaimana pasangan kita.

Memang benar, di dunia ini tidak ada orang yang sempurna. Semuanya pasti memiliki kekurangan. Begitu pula dengan pasangan kita. Dengan mencoba untuk saling memahami, mungkin bisa menjadi alternatif terbaik mencegah pertengkaran.

"Prilaku saling menerima antar pasangan tidak hanya akan meningkatkan keintiman dan kepuasan dalam berhubungan saja, tapi juga bisa menghindari kita terjadinya perselingkuhan.Sebab dengan sikap saling menerima, maka kedua belah pihak tidak akan merasakan adanya tekanan satu sama lain."

Seringkali pertengkaran berawal dari masalah kecil. Misalnya saja, kebanyakan wanita merasa heran, mengapa suami mereka tidak bisa mencuci piring? Atau sekedar mengganti tisu di toilet yang sudah habis?

Sebenarnya kita tidak perlu mencari jawaban kepada seorang profesor, untuk mengetahui alasan mengapa wanita lebih condong bisa melakukan pekerjaan rumah dibadingkan kaum pria. Dan perlu di ingat pula, faktor keengganan suami membantu istrinya karena mereka takut mengganggu pekerjaan sang istri.

Lantas apa yang bisa kita lakukan? Solusi jitu adalah gunakan komunikasi yang efektif. Yaitu, komunikasi yang tidak hanya sebatas penyampaian pesan saja tapi harus disertakan dengan kontak verbal. Misalnya, kontak mata dan penggunaan intonasi yang tepat dan membubuhkan sedikit humor. Jika pria tampak tidak peduli dengan debu-debu yang menempel di perabot rumah, maka pahamilah bahwa kaum pria memang tidak didesain untuk memperhatikan hal-hal kecil seperti itu.

Selain masalah kecil, tidak banyak bicara juga kerap menjadi masalah. Wanita memang lebih terbuka dan cerewet dibanding kaum pria. Penelitian yang dilakukan menyatakan, baik pria maupun wanita dilahirkan dengan kapasitas berprilaku ekspresif yang sama. Yang membuatnya berbeda adalah cara menyosialisasikannya.

Orangtua cenderung mengekspos jangkauan emosi mereka yang lebih luas kepada anak perempuannya dibanding anak lelaki. Mereka juga bekerja keras untuk bisa mengantur perubahan emosi anak-anak mereka. Mungkin saja, pasangan hidup kita merupakan tipe pria pendiam dikarenakan sejak kecil memang mereka tidak diajarkan untuk mengekspresikan emosi mereka.

Jadi jangan pernah menginterpretasikan "diamnya" pasangan sebagai sinyal bahwa mereka sudah mulai bosan dan tidak lagi tertarik dengan kita. Jika kita percaya akan besarnya cinta pasangan pada kita, maka kita bisa melihat bagaimana ia mengomunikasikan bentuk cintanya dengan cara yang nonverbal.

Yang paling fatal sebagai pemicu pertengkaran adalah terlalu sibuknya pasangan kita. Memiliki pasangan yang aktivitasnya padat sering membuat kita kesal, marah, dan tidak dihargai. Ada satu kata yang harus dipahami, yaitu memaafkan. Dengan selalu memaafkan setiap kesalahan orang lain, maka akan menjadikannya rasa sayang. Mulailah untuk mengajak pasangan Anda berbicara dari hati ke hati, ketimbang hanya lewat kalimat makian.

Berikan rasa hormat dan dukungan kepada pasangan kita sehingga mereka bisa merasakan bahwa kita selalu ada untuk mendukung dan memberikan perhatian kepada mereka. Dan pada akhirnya, mereka dengan sendirinya akan merubah jadwal aktivitas dan ingin menghabiskan waktu lebih banyak dengan kita.

Berusaha untuk belajar mencintai kekurangan pasangan kita bukan berarti akan merubah prilaku mereka. Tapi, yang pasti kita sendiri akan merasakan perubahannya. Misalnya, peningkatan rasa percaya, intimasi, dan rasa sayang kepada pasangan kita. Coba hal-hal berikut di bawah ini untuk meningkatkan kadar sayang pasangan Anda:

Pertama, tulis surat untuk pasangan kita yang berisi apresiasi kita untuk segala bentuk empati, keingintahuan, dan kebaikan yang dia tunjukkan melalui kekurangan yang ada padanya.

Kedua, berikan pasangan kita kado spesial untuk merayakan perbedaan kita. Contoh, jika pasangan kita suka menikmati konser dengan hingar bingarnya dan kita tidak, coba belilah dua tiket konser untuk kita tonton bersama. Tunjukkan betapa besarnya cinta kita dengan menikmati konser tersebut karena hal itu yang akan membuat pasangan kita bahagia.