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Hal-hal Yang Membuat Pria Jatuh Cinta


Anda mungkin telah mendapatkan perhatiannya, atau bahkan berhasil mendapatkannya, tetapi benarkah hatinya benar-benar menjadi milik Anda? Tak ada yang mengetahuinya kecuali dirinya sendiri. Namun bila Anda merasa belum pasti, Anda bisa melakukan hal-hal yang membuatnya benar-benar jatuh cinta pada Anda.
"Pria memiliki kebutuhan bawaan tertentu yang harus dipenuhi sebelum ia merasa benar-benar terkoneksi dengan Anda," ujar Paul Dobransky, MD, penulis The Secret Psychology of How We Fall in Love. “Ketika pria menyadari bahwa Anda sosok yang ideal untuk semua kebutuhan ini, saat itulah dia akan berkomitmen."
Untuk itu, Anda perlu mengetahui apa saja kebutuhan dan hasratnya yang terdalam.

1. Kebebasan
Terikat dalam hubungan, bahkan pernikahan, tidak berarti pria harus melepaskan kebebasannya 100 persen. Bahkan pria yang sehat secara emosional pun ingin mendapatkan jaminan bahwa mereka tetap bisa jadi individu yang bebas melakukan keinginannya.

“Dengan memastikan bahwa Anda tidak mengharapkan pasangan untuk berubah, ia akan merasa bahwa Anda sungguh  memahami dirinya, tetapi juga tidak mengancam rasa dirinya," ungkap Dan Neuharth, PhD, penulis bukuSecrets You Keep from Yourself. “Hal itu justru akan membuatnya memiliki kekuatan untuk berkomitmen."
Memberi kebebasan tidak hanya sekadar memberi ruang baginya untuk meluangkan waktu bersama teman-teman atau melakukan hobinya. Tahan diri juga untuk tidak mengecek SMS, caller ID, atau e-mail-nya.
Cara mengambil hatinya: Berbagilah mengenai ketakutan dan kekhawatiran Anda. Pria sering bersiap mundur karena mereka mengira perempuan selalu ingin cepat menikah dan mempunyai anak. Jadi jika Anda merasa resah untuk berkomitmen, biarkan dia tahu. Ia akan mengerti bahwa Anda pun belum berpengalaman dalam hal ini, dan tidak mencoba menjebaknya dalam perkawinan.

2. Melindungi
Membuat Anda merasa aman akan membuatnya merasa berguna, dan merasa jantan. “Tidak berarti Anda harus selalu memberi kesan tidak berdaya, tetapi membiarkan ia melihat sisi diri Anda yang rapuh. Hal ini akan mendekatkannya pada Anda, karena memberi peluang bagi instingnya untuk melindungi Anda," kata David Givens, PhD, penulis Love Signals.

Cara mengambil hatinya: Berikan dia kesempatan untuk memegang kendali, dan jangan lupa menyampaikan terima kasih. Mintalah ia untuk memperbaiki sesuatu, atau melakukan tugas-tugas yang sulit dilakukan. Tanyakan pendapatnya mengenai hal-hal yang ingin Anda ketahui. Jika si dia menganggap Anda telah membuatnya merasa seperti pahlawan, ia akan bersedia mengikat diri dengan Anda. 

3. Merasa dihargai
Pria ingin dirinya dihargai dan dihormati. Bila ketika Anda sedang bersamanya ternyata meningkatkan keyakinannya, entah dalam perasaannya ataupun melalui tatapan mata Anda, ia pasti menginginkan untuk terikat dengan Anda, demikian menurut  Dr Dobransky. 

Cara mengambil hatinya: Bahagiakan dirinya. Tertawalah ketika salah satu dari Anda melakukan tindakan konyol ketika sedang bercinta. Tonton film-film komedi. Dinginkan kepalanya ketika ia sedang marah. Jika Anda mampu membuat segalanya menjadi ringan, bahkan di saat sedang stres, kehadiran Anda akan sangat diharapkannya.

Mainkan permainan otak, seperti scrabble, puzzle, atau catur. Aktivitas yang membutuhkan kecakapan mental ini bisa menyentuh hasratnya. Kemampuan Anda untuk memecahkan masalah tanpa sadar telah menunjukkan pada dirinya bahwa Anda adalah orang yang harus diinginkan. Jadilah teman yang selalu dicari dan dibutuhkan orang lain. Ketika si dia memahami bahwa Anda disukai orang lain, ia akan yakin bahwa Andalah pilihan terbaiknya.

4. Kenyamanan
“Jatuh cinta adalah proses pengikatan yang berkembang, yang terjadi ketika oksitosin membanjiri otak," tutur Alan Hirsch, MD, direktur neurologis di Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation. Anda bisa melepaskan hormon-hormon cinta tersebut dengan membuatnya merasa bahwa Anda berdua cocok satu sama lain. Sandarkan kepala Anda di pundaknya dengan rileks. Ketika ia merasa begitu nyaman dengan diri Anda, ia tidak lagi memikirkan hubungan Anda, karena telah menikmatinya. 

Cara mengambil hatinya: Biarkan dia tahu ketika Anda sedang berdandan. Merapikan diri di hadapannya akan meningkatkan keintiman, apalagi jika hal itu jarang disaksikannya. Lakukan hal-hal yang elegan, seperti memulas bedak atau lipstik, bukan mencukur bulu kaki atau memencet jerawat.

Ketika sedang berbelanja bulanan dan Anda tidak tahu pasti apa yang Anda inginkan, pilih merek yang biasa ia gunakan. Ia akan merasa dilibatkan, dan diterima sepenuhnya oleh Anda.

Sumber:kompas.com